Last week I participated in a screening of the trailer for Out of Order. The chaplain at Lafayette college, Alex Hendrickson, invited the three of us who are featured in the film to come and speak, and have dinner with a few student leaders.
This was the first time since we began filming that I’ve spoken in public (to strangers!) about this film and about my journey. And what blew my mind was that these smart and passionate young people not only heard my story, but cared. I told them about my joys and calling, my struggles, my divorce, my fears, my hope. And they were moved by it! People said we gave them hope for the church. They thanked us for being there, and for telling our stories.
Sometimes I feel like I’m toning myself down for the church. Which, let’s face it, is probably a good thing to some degree, since I am trying to minister to older/established church folks as well as all the other things I’m doing. But this was a good wake-up call: the world needs a bit of my crazy sparkle, even if the church isn’t quite ready for it all the time. My story is worth something, and my passions are worth something, and even my struggles are worth something.
Today’s photo-a-day word is “silence.” She asks, “what is the thing you can no longer keep silent about? The last day or two has been unfortunately full of such things. (like this!) But I think the one thing I most need to speak is the truth of my self.
And right now, that truth is remembering how to be the silly, colorful, passionate/creative nerdy activist church-type that I am. Obviously I’m going to have to figure out how to integrate that into being both a responsible adult and a responsible pastor, which is a challenge in itself… But there is a lot of room for me to be me.
I just have to remember to trust that that’s a good thing!
Please check out the fundraising page for Out of Order, and support us in whatever way you can! Help us tell our stories.